Monday, September 13, 2010

oh deer.

Best ride in weeks! I'm sure it helped a little that I slept in and that there was still a chill in the air even though the sun had been up for a while, but there was something different about today's ride.  Even with the Hilly Hundred less than a month away, I have had a hard time getting jazzed for longer, tougher rides.  I was lacking the oomph, the desire, the drive... and today I realized why. 

From distance running to distance riding I have always enjoyed exercising on my own.  I have a chance to pray, think, reflect, yell, cry, scream and just let the mind wander.  The past few weeks I have spent that time alone thinking about recent losses.  I spent my rides hashing and re-hashing conversations that happened and conversations that I wish had happened.  My mind would take over and try to change the past and I would just get frustrated.  With the frustration I would lack the energy to even bike around town.  It seemed like more of a chore than a joy.  Luckily, my pact with 30 Days of Biking helped me at least get on the bike every day. 

I let my mind go in new directions today...instead of what if...I thought what comes next?  I changed my thoughts/ideas/fantasies (can I write that? anyone else fantasize on the bike? nothing that isn't PG or anything, you know, just let your mind go...i digress) to think about the think about what God had in store for me for the day, let alone the weeks and years ahead.  What new doors has God opened up for me, just waiting for me to walk in...I've not been ready to move forward because I've been looking, longingly backwards. 

I'm so thankful that God is much more patient than I am.  God has been waiting, and will wait, calling, encouraging and eventually pushing me to go in a new direction. 

One of the other surprises on today's ride was the company.  As I made it up a gentle hill, one I've been up many times before I heard some noise to my right.  To my surprise there were three deer having breakfast at a few apple trees.  Two of them stood still but the other ran up the yard along the road, albeit faster than me, and it ran across the road several feet ahead of me.  I've never heard them clop across the road before.  Fun.  

Until tomorrow...

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