single much?

So...my good friend sent me some articles to muse about today....

This was the first one: huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married
This was the second one: huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/22/jessica-ravitz-why-im-not-married

Please check out both of them...
And now, here's mine:


Out of the two...I like the second article better...reason 7 is the one I like....

Reasons 1-6 probably relate to me in some shape or form...but here's the thing about the first 6. I am convinced that God loves us and created us in God's image, granted, we're not perfect, but nor do I think we need to completely change who we are to be 'marriage material' for someone else. And granted, this is coming from someone who is in a very good place in life right now...new church, new peeps, and new location...lots of new, open doors...but the first 6 reasons seemed to be things that a woman should get over and fix about herself so she's ready to be married. It seems that marriage was the sole 'goal' of that woman. and that worries me too...the willingness to change just about anything about yourself so you don't end up alone.

(Welcome to my soapbox)

At this point....marriage is the last thing on my mind, it only entered it today because I'm meeting with a couple tonight for a pre-marital session and because my friend sent these links, which, by the way, I'm glad she did.)

This is what I shared with my friend Connie, who sent me the links. 

Both are good reads and I think the most important thing to remember is that you and me...we are not either one of these women. We are Connie and we are Jen...we are who God created us to be! Not always single...not always perfect....not always happy :( but always who God created us to be. And maybe I'm overly optimistic...but I love what I do right now, and God's joy is shining forth in my vocation, in my biking, in my trips to the market...in my texts to my friends...and I believe some fella is going to see that joy and want to share it with me...

And in the meantime...I will have the days when I check my cell and think...well, crap, I emailed Phil from Philly 2 days ago and nothing....maybe I wrote the wrong thing....I will check and double check to see if the email went through...I will wonder why I haven't heard from him, then I will criticize myself, and blame myself for something that I typed that clearly gave him reason *not* to email...and then eventually, I will move on...and I will remember that gosh, until he at least meets me....who is he to know who I truly am? So I breathe...and hang with the cat, text my bff Connie to cry, bitch, pray or smile...and continue living.
While I can take some ideas and opinions from others about why I am single...they do not know me, who I am and the life I have lived and continue to live...but God does know me....since I was in my mother's womb...and God continues to be with me...through healthy relationships and unhealthy ones, through marriage and through divorce...ever empowering me to share God's love through the relationships I am a part of for how ever long they last. 

Thanks for reading.
Until next time...

too busy?

So, I was thinking to myself this evening, as I headed to a parishioner's for dinner that I had a pretty productive day...for a Sunday, even.

Both services went well this morning as we welcomed in new members and celebrated a baptism :)  Worship itself was jam packed, but it was still worship.  I'm blessed to hear my colleagues preach!
In between worship, more relationships were built and conversations were had about revamping my kitchen (insert uber-excitement level here).

After worship I enjoyed a very spicy gumbo and some jambalaya as I gathered with some of our youth heading to the national youth gathering in NOLA in July 2012.  I'm very excited...it'll be my first National Youth Gathering! :)

I had some down time this afternoon, so I mended the hem in a jumper, did several loads of laundry even made a spinach, feta & mushroom frittata for quick dinners before evening meetings this week.

On my way home from dinner I realized that I hadn't walked today.  drat.  I took the trash out...but that wasn't that far.  Oh well, one down day isn't a bad thing.

I think more importantly is the thought that as I came home from dinner all I wanted to do was put on the fox Sunday cartoon lineup.  Then I remembered that I don't have a cable hook up or dish set up yet.  So I put on the radio, decided to blog, and will curl up with a book before bed.  I've gone a month without tv.  I've been watching movies and shows on dvd, but that's been it.  I'm seriously debating what kind of hook up to get and what I really *need*.

I wonder if with a decent antenna I could get at least local channels on the tv upstairs and perhaps with internet, netflix would suffice through the wii....but once I get to the cable/dish pages...I get overwhelmed....then I want the food network, fx, bravo and the travel channel....but I don't think I need them.  I've been fine this past month without...I think the next 30 days could be an adventure without tv...saying it makes it seem tough...but I've gone the last almost 30 days without.  I watched the superbowl at a party, with the youth group and am working my way through the early seasons of Seinfeld.  This could be my time to actually watch LOST. (I didn't watch it the first time around.)

Who knows...when I've had a heady day at work, or a late day, just vegging is nice, but if I had more access to tv, it would be on much more often.  I've got another week to debate the next 30 days...but what's another month without cable?

Until next time . . .

perfect day

Today was just amazing!

For the record today's walk was only two blocks...but more of that later.

It could have something to do with the fact that I was in bed by 9:30 last night.  A solid night's sleep is the perfect lead in to a day off. 

I made it to the market this morning while it was still overcast, yet already 50 degrees :)

After that, I got Katarina ready for the first ride of the season.  It was 60+ degrees and sunny!  A beautiful day for a ride.  I made it out to the local lake, even though I underestimated the hills.  It was a challenging 16 miles, but I'm ready to be out there on a regular basis...and to get some gel-butt-pants. 

So my walk was just a short one, because I walked to the local sandwich shop for a cheese burger and fresh onion rings :) Soooo delish!  I enjoyed them with a magic hat #9 on the back porch in the sun.  And read for a while, before curling up for a nap.  I woke from the nap to have the cat curled up with me, too. 

Just a wonderful day off...which has me ready for another busy week...but thankful for the respite :)

memory lane

Today I got to walk in some old and familiar places. 

It started with a trip to the congregation where I did my internship.  While it's tricky to see the church in the middle of a main thoroughfare, the bell tower does let people know it is a church building.  You might be surprised that it's a Lutheran church with St. Francis of Assisi on the side.

It did make for a perfect setting in the yard for the blessing of the animals service, though. 

I got to help out with organizing food for the monthly food pantry, just like old times.  I can't believe it has been five years.  It was nice to catch up with some folks and to remember such the important role they all played in my development and growth into becoming an ordained minister. 

After chatting for a bit, I drove around the old neighborhood.  I remember driving the church van for senior trips and trips in that same van driving through the local projects picking up eager kids for the after school program.  Some areas looked like they hadn't changed in five years....others I barely recognized. 

I had the chance to walk in a place that brought back fond memories for me, as well.  I strolled along the river by the Reading Public Museum.  Most Fridays on internship, I'd meet with several colleagues and we'd walk and talk for an hour or so...just building relationships, connecting and supporting one another.  It was such an invaluable part of my year here...that I still keep in touch with many of those amazing women. 

Along the walk I enjoyed the view of the water:

Thanks to a grandmother trying to keep up with and slow her granddaughter down, she pointed out two sets of wind chimes in the trees.

There was just enough wind to provide a soft, low hum as I passed under. 

So glad I had a chance to revisit some of the old haunts today...and thankful for the connections that began near here.  I had a chance to think about what I have been through over the past 5 years...I love that line in the song 'Watershed' by the Indigo Girls..."every five years or so, I look back on my life and I have a good laugh..."

I don't' know if I had a good laugh today...I definitely had a good smile, or two or more....and the chance to see some growth within me and the world around me.  So much has happened...and so much continues to happen.  I'm truly thankful that God has called me to a place that is somewhat familiar to help me remember who I was, but yet continues to open new doors, new opportunities and new relationships to continue to work through me to help me be who God created me to be.

Until next time...

here comes the sun

What a challenge to walk outside these past few days...it's been darn chilly or darn dark. 

I had a chance to get out this afternoon and it was beautiful!

The sun was shining, the wind was barely blowing...and it was great to just get out of the house.  I was thankful for the weather, for life in general, for friends old and new and all those in between. I was thankful that I was able to enjoy a day off with time to myself, time at the market and time with good friends. 

Many people have talked to me lately about happiness....that I look happy...that they can sense my happiness.  I am truly happy right now.  I had not realized how not fully happy I had been, until situations and locations changed.  I shy away from saying I was unhappy...because I didn't feel unhappy.  Maybe things weren't perfect, but that was okay.  But maybe I was unhappy, but I didn't realize it. 

I'm in a good place right now.  Sure, I'm enjoying the honeymoon period of a new job, embracing a new place to live and explore and celebrating the ample opportunities to reconnect with old friends now that we are physically closer.  It's easy to be engulfed by people who are welcoming and excited for me to be here and who are ready for new beginnings.  I know it will not always be this smooth and this happy...but here's hoping, right?  I know the road isn't always smooth, but I'm enjoying the ride right now...I think holding in the back of my mind that life isn't always perfect, easy and fun.  Knowing that in our lives and in the vocation of parish ministry, tough times are always there.  But at the moment, God's light is shining through me, allowing me to love and be loved through this transition.  Having awesome friends and colleagues both far and near is a huge part of that. 

I've also taken time recently to celebrate the small things that bring a smile to my face. 
That may be dancing in the dining room (that has no curtains) to that new Paul Simon song or my favorite 70's disco hit.
It may be knowing there are fun socks on my feet, like these, from today's walk:

It may be striking up a conversation with someone at the market about the weather or the orange juice.  
Or laughing when you realize the cat has gotten her mouse toy into the oven...

In these fun, happy times, I thank God for the smiles that surround me and for the opportunity to laugh.  Thanks, God, for the ability to dance, sing, laugh, smile, to be with friends or strangers, and to truly be who you created me to be.  (and thanks, in advance - and in looking back - for sticking with me during those really crappy times, too.)

Until next time . . .

stair stepping...

Today's winter walks consisted of multiple sets of stairs.  I had the chance to visit folks in two different hospitals, so I took advantage of using the stairs in the hospitals and parking garages to get a 'walk' in without being blown off the street. 

The wind that was howling this morning, is still going...Blow, Spirit, Blow.

I'm always reminded when running or on a bike how strong the wind is...and as fellow bikers have pointed out, you can't see it coming.  For part of your ride or run, you feel great!  It's like you're unstoppable...having the wind at your back is a powerful thing.
Then you turn a corner and BAM! you can't seem to move forward.  If you are, it's at a much slower pace than the previous leg of your trip.  
When we remember the spirit and winds moving over the waters at creation.  When we think of the wind and flame of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost I can't help but think it's a wind like this.

I'm sure when the Holy Spirit is blowing, it is little like a cool, gentle breeze in the summer time.  I picture it as a gusting, strong force that means business.  And to me, if you're going where the Spirit guides you, it'll be much easier than going against it.  Just try walking into that wind. 

But so often I'm plugging through life forcing myself against the wind, against the Spirit and against my better judgment by trying to do what I think is right.  So many times I think I can handle it...I've got this, I know the right choices because I'm one smart cookie.  But if I'm going against where God is calling me to go....then it is a struggle the whole way.  I don't know why I enter into the struggle, maybe it's a reminder that I'm not in charge.  Maybe I do it just for the challenge. And maybe I do it, because it's who I am, it's who God created me to be...and thanks be to God for being ever so patient with me...watching me get blown off course and waiting for me when I'm going in the right direction again. 

I just hope when it comes to the congregation that I'm going the right way...and encouraging them on the right path...

Until next time . . .

salt, light and a cat

So, I will let you know that I have been walking every day.  I should get to bed soon because it's tough to get up in the morning and walk, but I've been doing it.  Had a lovely walk with my mom this weekend as we navigated around icy walkways and roads. 

I even got a walk and a nap in yesterday between church and the youth super bowl party. (win, win, win.)

Yesterday's gospel lesson was about salt and light.  I preached about the use of salt and seasoning our communities...I thought alot about salt this past week with the amount that was heavily sprinkled on the ice all over the sidewalks and roadways.  I was hesitant to use too much on my food today, careful to use just enough to enhance the flavor and not overpower it. 

I shared salted and unsalted pretzels with the kids during the children's sermon yesterday which we snacked on later at the party.  Yum.

With the coming of spring and the changing of the seasons, I'm looking forward to the sun coming up earlier.  With the majority of my bedroom windows on the east side of the house, my room is the first one to get the rays of sun.  Not to mention, it will be easier to get up when it's not darkish out there. 

So, I go home from church yesterday and saw the light on in the basement.  I asked mom and dad about it and they hadn't been down stairs at all.  I opened the door to see the light bulb on....and pull string wrapped around it.  I unwrapped it while Marley was watching and she immediately jumped at the string as soon as it was within her reach.  Apparently, she played with and pulled the string hard enough to turn on the light and to have the pull string wrap around the light bulb. 

I have 'some cat.'  I was wondering if she was letting her light so shine before others that they may see her good works and glorify her father in heaven....or if she just doesn't like how dark the basement can get.  When I was home after the game, she hopped on top of the fridge and knocked down her cat treats.  It's like she owns the place....I wonder if I should submit this to cat fancy or the Lutheran. 

Until next time...