And the rides are getting better. 14 miles this morning, granted I have many more miles to add, I pushed harder today and it felt great! While the days this week have been in the upper 80s the mornings have been perfect for riding. It gives me hope for the next few weeks and longer rides...
So, I'm sitting here, watching Sons of Anarchy, checking my email...and now blogging...and I get the following in an email. "I'm looking to meet someone a little less devoted to church...wow, I hope that doesn't sound as bad as it appears."
Well, it doesn't sound that bad. Perhaps I am a little devoted to church. Well, it is my job...and my faith...and a big part of my life. I just think that there is more to me than just my role as pastor. I am called to ordained ministry, even though it took me a while to hear that call and respond to it. I just think that that is part of who I am in the real world, too...but not all of who I am. I mean I'm not out there bashing people over the head with a Bible...but my faith life is who I am. Last week at the bar someone said, "You're a pastor and you watch (It's Always) Sunny...you're well rounded." I know I'm well rounded...and am one sassy preacher...I just wish people could take the time to get to know that about me.
It's that continual struggle...knowing that I do not *need* someone to be with me or to make me 'complete'. I just believe that God calls us to be in relationships. But as my dear friend asked me this evening, why are these relationships so difficult?!?! Well, good question. I know I need to learn patience...and apparently these things happen when you're not looking, or when you least expect it.
Ah...another part of my life is out of my hands. That's nothing new, I just need to remember to let go. Give it up to God and not try to achieve or reach for things that I think will complete me according to my plan. Much easier said than done. For those of you in a similar struggle, know that you're not alone.
Until tomorrow...
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
oh deer.
Best ride in weeks! I'm sure it helped a little that I slept in and that there was still a chill in the air even though the sun had been up for a while, but there was something different about today's ride. Even with the Hilly Hundred less than a month away, I have had a hard time getting jazzed for longer, tougher rides. I was lacking the oomph, the desire, the drive... and today I realized why.
From distance running to distance riding I have always enjoyed exercising on my own. I have a chance to pray, think, reflect, yell, cry, scream and just let the mind wander. The past few weeks I have spent that time alone thinking about recent losses. I spent my rides hashing and re-hashing conversations that happened and conversations that I wish had happened. My mind would take over and try to change the past and I would just get frustrated. With the frustration I would lack the energy to even bike around town. It seemed like more of a chore than a joy. Luckily, my pact with 30 Days of Biking helped me at least get on the bike every day.
I let my mind go in new directions today...instead of what if...I thought what comes next? I changed my thoughts/ideas/fantasies (can I write that? anyone else fantasize on the bike? nothing that isn't PG or anything, you know, just let your mind go...i digress) to think about the future...to think about what God had in store for me for the day, let alone the weeks and years ahead. What new doors has God opened up for me, just waiting for me to walk in...I've not been ready to move forward because I've been looking, longingly backwards.
I'm so thankful that God is much more patient than I am. God has been waiting, and will wait, calling, encouraging and eventually pushing me to go in a new direction.
One of the other surprises on today's ride was the company. As I made it up a gentle hill, one I've been up many times before I heard some noise to my right. To my surprise there were three deer having breakfast at a few apple trees. Two of them stood still but the other ran up the yard along the road, albeit faster than me, and it ran across the road several feet ahead of me. I've never heard them clop across the road before. Fun.
Until tomorrow...
From distance running to distance riding I have always enjoyed exercising on my own. I have a chance to pray, think, reflect, yell, cry, scream and just let the mind wander. The past few weeks I have spent that time alone thinking about recent losses. I spent my rides hashing and re-hashing conversations that happened and conversations that I wish had happened. My mind would take over and try to change the past and I would just get frustrated. With the frustration I would lack the energy to even bike around town. It seemed like more of a chore than a joy. Luckily, my pact with 30 Days of Biking helped me at least get on the bike every day.
I let my mind go in new directions today...instead of what if...I thought what comes next? I changed my thoughts/ideas/fantasies (can I write that? anyone else fantasize on the bike? nothing that isn't PG or anything, you know, just let your mind go...i digress) to think about the future...to think about what God had in store for me for the day, let alone the weeks and years ahead. What new doors has God opened up for me, just waiting for me to walk in...I've not been ready to move forward because I've been looking, longingly backwards.
I'm so thankful that God is much more patient than I am. God has been waiting, and will wait, calling, encouraging and eventually pushing me to go in a new direction.
One of the other surprises on today's ride was the company. As I made it up a gentle hill, one I've been up many times before I heard some noise to my right. To my surprise there were three deer having breakfast at a few apple trees. Two of them stood still but the other ran up the yard along the road, albeit faster than me, and it ran across the road several feet ahead of me. I've never heard them clop across the road before. Fun.
Until tomorrow...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Surprises around every corner...
It was my first protein ride of the season. The sunglasses kept the bugs out of my eyes but I should ride with my mouth closed because I dislike bugs in my teeth. I did get some enthusiastic waves from people I did not know. But it's a small town, so they're all friendly, right? Maybe they read last month's article in the paper about the pastor who rides her bike around town and that's how they know me. Oh, and I saw a sweet sun dog. :)
Rally Day went well this morning. Teachers were installed and the kiddos had fun searching the sanctuary for the lost pez dispenser. Good times. Heard a wonderful Temple Talk about stewardship from one of our high school youth. She shared how the church had given to her through different experiences through the generosity of members of the congregation. It was a wonderful talk: heartfelt and well-spoken. I love the little blessings that God graces us with.
This afternoon was too much fun. Attending the demolition derby at the local Turkey Trot Festival in Montgomery. I'm a bit sunburnt...but had a blast playing Redneck Bingo with my friend.
I think you need to get 5 in a row. These are the spaces we covered:
1) Mullet: This was like a rat tail gone awry.
2) Mother of the Year: She had the stroller next to the fence at the derby, smoking a cigarette, and changing his diaper on the lawn in front of the bleachers.
3) Physical Contact: We got hit with chunks of dirt from the derby.
4) Physical Contact Part 2: My friend was kissed on the cheek by a drunk guy at 3 in the afternoon. (His beer was in a koozy...does that count for 2 spaces?)
5) I guess we could go with a free space, BUT, I think the final space goes to knowing some of the derby drivers...the car was 9 Toe...driven by a man with, you guessed it, 9 Toes. (Lawnmower accident, true story...I heard it while looking at the 9 remaining toes one day....)
BINGO!
That win, mind you, does not include the Jumbo Corn Dogs that we each got at the end of the day. Covering the mandatory 'fat food' eating. It was a dog and a half, hand dipped!
I don't think this picture does it justice. It was huge.
I'm not excited about the sunburn...but it's just one more way to remember this stellar day.
Until tomorrow...
Rally Day went well this morning. Teachers were installed and the kiddos had fun searching the sanctuary for the lost pez dispenser. Good times. Heard a wonderful Temple Talk about stewardship from one of our high school youth. She shared how the church had given to her through different experiences through the generosity of members of the congregation. It was a wonderful talk: heartfelt and well-spoken. I love the little blessings that God graces us with.
This afternoon was too much fun. Attending the demolition derby at the local Turkey Trot Festival in Montgomery. I'm a bit sunburnt...but had a blast playing Redneck Bingo with my friend.
I think you need to get 5 in a row. These are the spaces we covered:
1) Mullet: This was like a rat tail gone awry.
2) Mother of the Year: She had the stroller next to the fence at the derby, smoking a cigarette, and changing his diaper on the lawn in front of the bleachers.
3) Physical Contact: We got hit with chunks of dirt from the derby.
4) Physical Contact Part 2: My friend was kissed on the cheek by a drunk guy at 3 in the afternoon. (His beer was in a koozy...does that count for 2 spaces?)
5) I guess we could go with a free space, BUT, I think the final space goes to knowing some of the derby drivers...the car was 9 Toe...driven by a man with, you guessed it, 9 Toes. (Lawnmower accident, true story...I heard it while looking at the 9 remaining toes one day....)
BINGO!
That win, mind you, does not include the Jumbo Corn Dogs that we each got at the end of the day. Covering the mandatory 'fat food' eating. It was a dog and a half, hand dipped!
I don't think this picture does it justice. It was huge.
I'm not excited about the sunburn...but it's just one more way to remember this stellar day.
Until tomorrow...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Go...go....go
"GO now, what are you waiting for...no seriously, GO!"
That was the message from Bishop Mark Hanson today as he preached the gospel during the installation service for I-K Synod Bishop Bill Gafkjen. He actually said that...and then sat down. Leaving us to look awkwardly at one another...debating actually leaving...then he got up and continued to preach.
The two questions that stuck with me were:
What's keeping you from going? and Why do you go?
What keeps me from going out there? Why, knowing that I'm completely equipped for anything...am I afraid to go! I think that's a question that underlies my ongoing discernment in both vocation and in life. Where is God calling me to serve? When do I know that I'm being called someplace different? Is it my own feelings & struggles or is it the Holy Spirit stirring within..calling...pulling...tugging?
In life, or more specifically in relationships, where and how am I being called? I guess I'm strong enough to live and love and lose...but sometimes it hurts...I know God is present, but I still wonder what God is teaching me through these experiences. (I know, be patient....) What keeps me from going out there? I'm afraid of being hurt, not being loved, not being ready for changes, new responsibilities...or am I still trying to figure out if it's me that wants the change, or is it God calling for change? Anybody else have these questions?
Sometimes I go...because I feel daring, full of life & adventure and I'm ready for anything...and I feel God's presence and support, knowing God's got my back. I know I shouldn't have doubts...but sometimes I'm unaware (not unaware, just so full of myself, my own worries and anxieties) of the strength that comes from God, promised to me through baptism....that will never ever leave me.
So funny in hindsight, to think about listening to the song Should I stay or should I go" on the way to the installation service. I asked a pastor once, is discernment something that is constantly a part of your life? He smiled and said....well....
I guess for me it is a constant thing...that I just need to continue listening to.
Speaking of going...I had the hardest time getting on my bike today. I just didn't have the oomph to get going. (FYI... oomph is the correct spelling - no red misspelling line underneath) After a long drive to and from the installation, with a woman from church, I just wanted to kick back this evening. I thought...I don't have the drive to seriously ride today...and if I can't get a strong ride in for the Hilly Hundred, then why even ride? So I'm thankful yet again for the pact of 30 Days of Biking. I would not have pulled the bike out, even for a ride around town, without that promise that I would ride every day this month. So, phew, thanks for that. Now I really need to get focused on training for the Hilly. Because it's less than a month away and I'm getting nervous.
Other loves from today's ride:
The smell of people grilling out.
The conversations on the porches as I ride by.
The sound of children laughing.
The waves I get from the kiddos playing outside.
And if you needed some music to go along with this post:
Indigo Girls: Go
Until tomorrow...
That was the message from Bishop Mark Hanson today as he preached the gospel during the installation service for I-K Synod Bishop Bill Gafkjen. He actually said that...and then sat down. Leaving us to look awkwardly at one another...debating actually leaving...then he got up and continued to preach.
The two questions that stuck with me were:
What's keeping you from going? and Why do you go?
What keeps me from going out there? Why, knowing that I'm completely equipped for anything...am I afraid to go! I think that's a question that underlies my ongoing discernment in both vocation and in life. Where is God calling me to serve? When do I know that I'm being called someplace different? Is it my own feelings & struggles or is it the Holy Spirit stirring within..calling...pulling...tugging?
In life, or more specifically in relationships, where and how am I being called? I guess I'm strong enough to live and love and lose...but sometimes it hurts...I know God is present, but I still wonder what God is teaching me through these experiences. (I know, be patient....) What keeps me from going out there? I'm afraid of being hurt, not being loved, not being ready for changes, new responsibilities...or am I still trying to figure out if it's me that wants the change, or is it God calling for change? Anybody else have these questions?
Sometimes I go...because I feel daring, full of life & adventure and I'm ready for anything...and I feel God's presence and support, knowing God's got my back. I know I shouldn't have doubts...but sometimes I'm unaware (not unaware, just so full of myself, my own worries and anxieties) of the strength that comes from God, promised to me through baptism....that will never ever leave me.
So funny in hindsight, to think about listening to the song Should I stay or should I go" on the way to the installation service. I asked a pastor once, is discernment something that is constantly a part of your life? He smiled and said....well....
I guess for me it is a constant thing...that I just need to continue listening to.
Speaking of going...I had the hardest time getting on my bike today. I just didn't have the oomph to get going. (FYI... oomph is the correct spelling - no red misspelling line underneath) After a long drive to and from the installation, with a woman from church, I just wanted to kick back this evening. I thought...I don't have the drive to seriously ride today...and if I can't get a strong ride in for the Hilly Hundred, then why even ride? So I'm thankful yet again for the pact of 30 Days of Biking. I would not have pulled the bike out, even for a ride around town, without that promise that I would ride every day this month. So, phew, thanks for that. Now I really need to get focused on training for the Hilly. Because it's less than a month away and I'm getting nervous.
Other loves from today's ride:
The smell of people grilling out.
The conversations on the porches as I ride by.
The sound of children laughing.
The waves I get from the kiddos playing outside.
And if you needed some music to go along with this post:
Indigo Girls: Go
Until tomorrow...
Friday, September 10, 2010
Butt Drugs
I need to wear my I heart Butt Drugs shirt more often. It was perfect with a pair of jeans for this afternoon's ride. I was a little tuckered out today...late night, early morning and a funeral to attend.
After that I stomped around the local thrift shops and now have a new set of dishes :)
And then it was an impromptu visit to my friend G's house...which included a new set of clothes, a pile of records...and yes...a record player. (score) Now I need a shirt that says, I heart vinyl. I told three people about it...one thought it was great and the other two just kind of gave me silly looks...apparently vinyl isn't the latest thing...but it's one of the greats. Now I need a place to store my albums. I am enjoying the crackle that goes along with American in Paris.
Looking forward to a tasty supper of pizza with a side of Oliver Shiraz & a movie. I don't think the picture does it justice. A homemade crust with homemade sauce, sauteed onions, peppers & mushrooms. Topped as it came out of the oven with basil from the garden.
Oh, I suppose I should give credit where credit is due for the whole Butt Drugs thing. It is a locally owned and operated drug store in Historic Corydon, Indiana. Here's a link to a video that they made...I guess they are truly claiming the name.
You Tube Butt Drug Commercial
If you're ever in the area, you should totally stop in. Free parking, in the rear.
Until tomorrow...
After that I stomped around the local thrift shops and now have a new set of dishes :)
And then it was an impromptu visit to my friend G's house...which included a new set of clothes, a pile of records...and yes...a record player. (score) Now I need a shirt that says, I heart vinyl. I told three people about it...one thought it was great and the other two just kind of gave me silly looks...apparently vinyl isn't the latest thing...but it's one of the greats. Now I need a place to store my albums. I am enjoying the crackle that goes along with American in Paris.
Looking forward to a tasty supper of pizza with a side of Oliver Shiraz & a movie. I don't think the picture does it justice. A homemade crust with homemade sauce, sauteed onions, peppers & mushrooms. Topped as it came out of the oven with basil from the garden.
Oh, I suppose I should give credit where credit is due for the whole Butt Drugs thing. It is a locally owned and operated drug store in Historic Corydon, Indiana. Here's a link to a video that they made...I guess they are truly claiming the name.
You Tube Butt Drug Commercial
If you're ever in the area, you should totally stop in. Free parking, in the rear.
Until tomorrow...
Thursday, September 9, 2010
wrestling & sushi
Another day, another ride. Did the same loop this morning as I did yesterday and today it was much better! Phew. I'm working on finding that riding groove, which I love so dearly. I can say, too, that I had a wonderful interaction at a green light. I signaled to go right (and had the right of way) and the car across from me was signaling to go left. I always look all directions when I come to a green traffic light, and the car across the way say me and waved me on. A good moment.
I wrestled with sermon texts today...caught between the theme of stewardship this month and the possible burning of copies of the Qur'an this Saturday....puts one in an interesting position. While there are some ideas put to paper and it seems to flow...who knows what the next few days will bring. On Saturday, I'm looking forward to attending the installation service of the new Bishop of our synod, so I'll be blessed to worship with colleagues with Bishop Mark Hanson preaching and presiding. Should be a wonderful service.
I'm looking forward to dinner with a good friend tonight. I am looking forward to having sushi :) And then I will continue my quest to eat/drink locally this week, as all Hoosiers have been encouraged to do, by having a brew at Upland. Last night's tasty supper included potatoes from the co-op in Bloomington, so they were local. The rest of my week I have been supporting local breweries or wineries, surprise, surprise.
If there is any breaking news in B-town tonight, I'll post again later.
Until tomorrow...
I wrestled with sermon texts today...caught between the theme of stewardship this month and the possible burning of copies of the Qur'an this Saturday....puts one in an interesting position. While there are some ideas put to paper and it seems to flow...who knows what the next few days will bring. On Saturday, I'm looking forward to attending the installation service of the new Bishop of our synod, so I'll be blessed to worship with colleagues with Bishop Mark Hanson preaching and presiding. Should be a wonderful service.
I'm looking forward to dinner with a good friend tonight. I am looking forward to having sushi :) And then I will continue my quest to eat/drink locally this week, as all Hoosiers have been encouraged to do, by having a brew at Upland. Last night's tasty supper included potatoes from the co-op in Bloomington, so they were local. The rest of my week I have been supporting local breweries or wineries, surprise, surprise.
If there is any breaking news in B-town tonight, I'll post again later.
Until tomorrow...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
cycling for curry
This morning's ride was ROUGH. I did a different, longer loop with more hills. With the Hilly Hundred in a month, I need to increase my inclines in my rides. And today I felt it. After the first of what I had planned on being 3 loops, I was BEAT. I realized there was something missing. For the first time in a while, I haven't had the emotional fuel behind my ride. Whereas other recent rides have been fueled by grief and loss I experienced over the past few weeks, this ride was different. The frustration and anger I have been feeling were not as strong as they have been. It was nice, emotionally, but physically I need more training for my ride next month.
When I have a goal, it's easier for me to work toward it, so that will fuel tomorrow's ride...and the training for the rest of the month.
With the limbo in my life mellowing out, I also had time to tackle some more rooms in the house. My friend G paused when she walked into the house today, stunned by the different tone she felt due to the fact that my home is much more organized than it was last week. I feel a sense of peace and quiet in my home, which also has toned down the more fiery emotions.
Another joy I have reclaimed time and space for cooking. Tonight's dinner was coconut chicken curry.
Here's an attempt to turn the creation into a recipe:
1 lb chicken breasts sliced into thin strips
A handful of new potatoes, cut into bite size pieces
1 red bell pepper, sliced into thin strips
1 can bamboo shoots, drained
2 cans coconut milk
coriander
turmeric
cayenne pepper
salt & pepper to taste
sugar to taste
fresh basil, shredded
extra virgin olive oil
jasmine rice
1) In large saute pan, heat evoo over medium high heat & cook chicken strips. (I cooked them without browning them to imitate chicken I've had in curries before.)
2) When chicken is no longer pink, add peppers, potatoes, spices, and coconut milk. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, cover & simmer for 10 minutes.
3) This is a great time to start your rice. (Mine boiled over many times...still working on that rice cooking skill before I apply for Top Chef.)
4) After 10 minutes of simmering, add the bamboo shoots, stir & taste. At this point I added a some sugar, to sweeten the coconut, and a few splashes of hot sauce. (Note to self, add more cayenne earlier.) Cook for another 5 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Stir in basil & remove from heat.
5) Serve with jasmine rice. Enjoy. :)
Additional notes: I could really smell the coconut, but wanted to enhance the flavor. My friend G recommended adding some tamari to enhance the flavor. I may need to practice seasoning different elements while cooking.
Until tomorrow...
When I have a goal, it's easier for me to work toward it, so that will fuel tomorrow's ride...and the training for the rest of the month.
With the limbo in my life mellowing out, I also had time to tackle some more rooms in the house. My friend G paused when she walked into the house today, stunned by the different tone she felt due to the fact that my home is much more organized than it was last week. I feel a sense of peace and quiet in my home, which also has toned down the more fiery emotions.
Another joy I have reclaimed time and space for cooking. Tonight's dinner was coconut chicken curry.
Here's an attempt to turn the creation into a recipe:
1 lb chicken breasts sliced into thin strips
A handful of new potatoes, cut into bite size pieces
1 red bell pepper, sliced into thin strips
1 can bamboo shoots, drained
2 cans coconut milk
coriander
turmeric
cayenne pepper
salt & pepper to taste
sugar to taste
fresh basil, shredded
extra virgin olive oil
jasmine rice
1) In large saute pan, heat evoo over medium high heat & cook chicken strips. (I cooked them without browning them to imitate chicken I've had in curries before.)
2) When chicken is no longer pink, add peppers, potatoes, spices, and coconut milk. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, cover & simmer for 10 minutes.
3) This is a great time to start your rice. (Mine boiled over many times...still working on that rice cooking skill before I apply for Top Chef.)
4) After 10 minutes of simmering, add the bamboo shoots, stir & taste. At this point I added a some sugar, to sweeten the coconut, and a few splashes of hot sauce. (Note to self, add more cayenne earlier.) Cook for another 5 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Stir in basil & remove from heat.
5) Serve with jasmine rice. Enjoy. :)
Additional notes: I could really smell the coconut, but wanted to enhance the flavor. My friend G recommended adding some tamari to enhance the flavor. I may need to practice seasoning different elements while cooking.
Until tomorrow...
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